There is something so spiritual about being alone.
It has been a long while but I had a moment to do so.
The house is so quiet it is loud.
I feel the pull to be productive, to check the list, to get it all done.
But instead, I get still.
Here I am again, an adult again, a person responsible for just me for a bit.
I sweep away the clutter in my head and make clean spaces and it surely helps heal my soul.
Going through old files, physical and mental, pulling back layers that daily business has allowed me to resist.
The Spirit has always honored solitude, required it.
Jesus loved it - he went away time and time again to escape the crowds.
So I get focused.
I soak up the quiet like a sponge.
I know how much it is needed, how ravenous I feel of the time to only be defined as me.
So I put all the spinning plates aside for a moment.
I set them down carefully; they will still be there when I return.
I acknowledge that when I long for "just a minute alone" that means I need a reset.
When I find my extroverted side is slowly sneaking toward the exit door...
And I give honor to the fact that when I slip into the shadows I can hear more clearly.
I can see more clearly.
Problems are solved and promises are upheld.
And then I long again for the beauty of connection.
When I sit in solitude for even a moment, that effort benefits not just me, but everyone I come into contact with today.
It is a ripple in the static of the universe.
It is bucking the system.
It says, "keeping my bucket full means I can pour into others."
It allows me to fill my lungs until I can say, "Let's GO. I'm ready again!"
It is not selfish. It is necessary.
And I no longer feel guilt creep in, because I know instead that this practice multiplies.
This is a gift.
And then... whether a quick moment or a longer breath... I open my windows again to the glorious crashing and clanging of the world right outside.
For while I relish my solitude, I most cherish it because I know of its ending.
For no matter how much my heart might protest the chaos of the day to day, the life within the life is the air I breathe.
I wouldn't trade the love of the people around me, the blessings of the good I see everywhere, or the little corners of awe.
Let's be honest - we love this unique and precious and often crazy life.
God, I am grateful for time apart and time reunited.
Stir my soul to receive both with your blessing.